“I can’t do anything”, “Without him I’m nobody”, “Being alone is not normal” – our life consists of beliefs. One, another, third … They all accumulate, gather dust, and constantly put pressure on us. But why do we prefer some beliefs to others, especially if some of them are destructive? And how to get rid of the power of these installations that spoil our lives?
For starters – you need to learn how to calculate them. And then – start asking yourself questions. Many questions. Let’s try to figure out the first part of the plan together.
Inferiority Myth
The inferiority myth is familiar to almost everyone. And he sounds like this: “You were born imperfect, not good enough, with flaws.”
This setting is being promoted in many cultures. Somewhere they say that “you were born a girl, therefore you are imperfect.” Somewhere you are affected by caste, skin color, sexual orientation – whatever. The myth of inferiority can be imposed on us by society, or we can get it with genes when stories about our own unworthiness are imprinted in DNA, generation after generation.
But what does it really mean to live a life, thinking that you are not good enough? Often this thought turns us into chronic neurotics who are obsessed with themselves and the struggle for new habits in the hope of locating the Universe. We can feel alien and strange. We can succeed, but stumble on the last step. The inferiority myth constantly whispers to us that we are not worthy of rewards and other benefits.
There is a wonderful moment in the film “Servants” when the heroine of Viola Davis, Ebilin, a hired maid and nanny, hugs the daughter of her mistress (a notorious racist) and repeats: “You are kind, you are smart, you are priceless.” And the sweet little girl repeats after her: “You are kind, you are smart, you are priceless.” And this is the most beautiful sermon of the original virtue. And it is so necessary for each of us.You were born incredibly valuable. You have the right to everything. This is what is given to you. You are more than sufficient, you are significant. Worthy. Are strong.
The Myth Of Power
The myth of power is that “you need someone else to confirm your worth and approve your choice.” A myth used not only by politicians but also by the gurus of spiritual development.
The age of information has given us a sea of opportunity. And endowed with unprecedented authority. Today, almost everyone can receive a certificate of any importance. Here are just a century of information – this is not a century of wisdom. The basis of wisdom is experience, the result of years lived and situations passed. Experience is gained, you have insights, insights – you become wiser. Just downloading a PDF file is not the same.
The truth remains the same: the only opinion that should matter to you is your own. Need some advice? Advise. Prefer fortune tellers? Go to them. But what about friends? Adore them. Well, real gurus? Respect them. The final word? Yours. Only yours.Try this philosophy: take what you want, and discard the rest.
Because there is not a single teacher and not a single teaching that could be trusted one hundred percent. No matter how deep their experience, it is based on the past. We cannot always look for precedents to project them into the future. It was them then, and it is you, here and now.
The Myth Of Belonging
The myth of belonging is: “Public opinion is true.” This is a by-product of the myth of power, which with the same success can be called the myth of its own steepness.
Sometimes we want to share something with a group of people. Go to personal growth training, stand in a circle and express what has been locked up for years. But some things are too intimate for conference rooms flooded with fluorescent lights. Something to be told only to a qualified psychologist or best friend in an intimate setting and when you are really ready – this is what really heals. They treat respect and professionalism, not manipulation.
Group is not bad. And there it’s kind of customary to share. We like to feel involved, even in bad company. It makes us feel comfortable. And the leaders help us find peace, albeit temporary, and as if they are doing our work for us. Group charm is extremely useful for defining one’s own boundaries. But then you should look for a place and people that you really need.
You can also read:
Every Moment Is A Choice – The Story Of Edith Eger, A Survivor In Concentration Camp